Distant Relation
by Yami No Tenshi1
Summary: Seto's been having a little bit of trouble with a supposed 'distant relation'.


Title: Distant Relation My Ass. (Temporary Title)  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Seto Kaiba's been having a bit of trouble with a 'Distant relation.'  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. And I don't own this fic either. My friend Steph does. I'm just the minion that's typing this up, and posting it for her. (Under my name..--;;)  
  
Chapter One: Minion Man  
  
Seto Kaiba sat in his chair, staring out the window of his house/mansion- whatever the hell it is he lives in. (It's probably a cardboard box). Behind him was his desk, and standing behind that was a non-discrete minion. The said non-discrete minion shuffled his feet about listlessly and twitched out of nervous habit. Seto wasn't one who exactly called his workers in to congratulate them on their outstanding, efficient work. The mere fact that he was called in could mean only one of few things..all unpleasant. A pay-cut? Perhaps he was to be fired? Or worse.sentenced to watch poorly dubbed Sailor Moon OAV's over and over- strapped to a chair, his eyes taped open. The minion cringed. Either way, he was screwed.  
  
From the window view, Seto could see a young woman camped outside his front lawn- actually; she had been there for the past three days. The young woman had black hair that was loosely tied into a ponytail. She wore a white tank- top and jeans, as well as a blue flannel long sleeved shirt, which was wrapped around her waist in a haphazard fashion (all these stipulated for the past three days). She sat cross legged, next to her makeshift shanty- tent, munching on her pocky and staring tentatively at a tree.  
  
Three seconds later, she had beamed a squirrel from that tree with an empty soda can. Seto would be amused, had he not been annoyed. Seto still stood, his back still facing the minion.  
  
"How long has this intruder been on my front lawn?" Seto asked condensingly. He knew full well of course, but it was so much fun to ask them rhetorical questions and wait for the fools to answer as if they were somehow being of use-providing crucial knowledge of some sort.  
  
The minion stood up straight in a formation of sorts, and responded, "Three days, sir." Said minion, very official-like, as if he were reporting the status of a secret weapon. Seto winced at the word 'sir'. It made him sound old, like he should be toting a walker or something. Kaiba was much better. It sounded like the name of a German tank. Or, how about 'Supreme Overlord'? Now THAT rocked.  
  
Suddenly aware that his mind was drifting, Seto continued with the condensing speak spiel.  
  
"Tell me, have there been any attempts to remove her?" he continued to keep his back to the pitiful minion. Seto figured it made them (them being his minions) uneasier since it made them unable to read his expression. Meanwhile, the minion was perspiring in his attire.  
  
"Well..we've made attempts to capture her- the suspect, b-but she continues to allude us. Just last week se beamed me with a soda can!"  
  
'Stupid!! You didn't need to add ½ that!' he thought. 'But it was still full and..and it hurt, and it was green tea flavored and tasted disgusting' his internal voice continued to whine. 'He's going to fire me for sure. Why does he have to keep his back turned? I'll bet he's scowling? .Wow, his back even looks like it's glaring at me.'  
  
"Then why didn't you just shoot her?!" asked Seto, finally turning around. He was in fact scowling.  
  
The minion was taken aback and a sweatdrop formed on the back of his head. 'Eep, scary!!'  
  
'What?' thought Seto, 'She's trespassing; it's legal.'  
  
"S-sir, we can't." the minion replied.  
  
"Why not?" Seto asked with a less-than-subtle hint of annoyance.  
  
"Kids WB. They edited out our guns; all we an do is point our fingers in the shape of one." He replied.  
  
'Right. Damn them!!' Kaiba would have those people taken out and shot, but oh-wait, he can't.  
  
"Very well then." Kaiba conceded. He reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a business card of some sort. "I want you to report to this area." He handed the card to the minion, whose face turned a ghastly shade of pale.  
  
"What's the matter? Don't you like movies?" 


End file.
